Sarah turns one!

Happy birthday, my precious bundle of joy. You grow too fast.. Mama still wants you to stay a baby. But now you crawls so fast. U love to feed yourself. U learn how to stand on your own and you learn how to walk. The next thing I I know, you'll be running around the blocks :') *sniff sniff* Mama wish you to grow into a child of God. Walk in His path. Fears Him, love Him. Mama & papa love you much, dear. Super much *tight hug* I love you, baby girl. -mama-

Help?!?

Anyone know hot to upload a picture to blog from ipad?

Introducing the almost 10th mont old 'newborn' baby :p

Ah yes, I forget to introduce my baby girl... Sarah Emma Setiawan. Born 25th November 2010. 3.3kg and 50cm. Round and cute like a cabbage baby ;) And now, she is almost 10 month old :D sha can crawl very fast, standing while holding on something, says papa & mama & cie cie. She loves to play a lot. She is active. She babbles. She loves watching little children playing, she also loves watching people singing and dancing. She HATES headbands -__-! as in really hates it. She would just grab it and throw it away. And if you insist on putting it on her head, then she would start to scream and cry, hehehe. I love to dress her in simple jumper and she gets used to it, so if i dress her in a dress or frilly, frilly clothes, she would look at it uncomfortably, tried to take it off and kepp pulling her dress, hihi. Of course by now baby blue is long gone :) by now I just can't thanks Him enough for trusting me with this little, sweet angel.

:D

Ehem... Blog has a new face? Wow! That makes me have to 'learn' blogging again. That shows how long i haven't been blogging, I guess. Well to be honest, i even forget my own username & password!! *big guilty grin* So... To start where i stopped is like impossible :p and now I'm confused what to share,where to start :( Ok, about pregnancy... Well, I still dislike 'pregnancy'. The feeling of huge, bloated, sentimental, and the attention from all the people. Not to mention those caressing ur stomach, haha. On top of that, I was ugly with those pimples all over my face :( so, yeah.. Let's skip this part. Baby blues... Yeah I'm in! I tought all babies are angelic? Having a baby is the best feeling in the world? Your husband would look at you so tenderly, so lovingly and shower you with presents and love?? I tought it ws heaven??? But how come what I'm feeling is far from 'the best feeling in the world?' I had such a bad flu that I can't even hold my baby as long as I like?!! That caesar, I can hardly move! My breastmilk is not produced, yet! I insisted not to give Sarah anything but breastmilk. People kept questioning me, can breastfeed already? Has it comes out?? Don't use breastpump, use breastpump, use hand pump, use formula, bla bla bla and I'm stressed out. Baby is crying, she is hungry, I can't hold her. I forced myelf to move that it hurts. Now baby is screaming!! What to do?? She won't stop crying? I'm tired, i want to sleep!!! Rudy was busy! Can't really be with us 24/7. Reality bites.... And when I'm just starting to enjoy having that cute little pie, she was taken away again from me (a bit sentimantal) she got jaundice. The bilirubin was very high. It was 26. From a fair skinned baby, she turned so dark :'( I hated the hospital doctors that failed to notice sooner. I hated all of them to inject such a frail little baby's hand with needle. I hate the fact that she had to be away from us for more than a week. That week without Sarah, I cried so hard and so much. BUT, that moment also made me learn more about breastfeeding and made up my mind to start breastfeeding exclusively. All I do then was pump. And pump. And pump. I don't care I get a little, I pump. I was so determined. I felt like a cow, yes! But I couldn't care anymore. We kept sending the breastmilk to Sarah. I tought mine is not so bad. Quite ok. But when I saw another mommy send her breastmilk to the hospital for her jaundice baby, I felt heartbroken again. Mine is nothing compared to her.... Omg! When Sarah returned from the hospital, she got nipple confused. She doesn't want to breastfeed to me. She wanted bottle feeding. I kept trying to breastfeed her, but she would scream and cry. I felt so rejected. I was so frustated. So the battle with breastpumps and bottles kept going. If you ask me whether is tiring or not to keep pumping, i would answer VERY! I almost give up during the 4th month. Lucky for me, I had such a patient husband. He kept motivating me n help me in however he can. Yes. Having a baby is not 'that' fun. Along with the fun, comes big responsibilty. Ego n me time no longer come first. But YES! Having a baby is beautiful. The best feeling in the world. Cos' whenever you are down andtired, by looking at her smile, angelic face when she's asleep, touching that little fingers of hers and the feeling of loved by such an innocent being felt in heaven :)